Jokes Unlimited

Thats Strange..!

A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombstone, 'Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer.'

The inscriber insisted that such an inscription would be confusing, for passers-by would tend to think that three men were buried under the stone. However he suggested an alternative. He would inscribe, 'Here lies a man who was both honest and a lawyer.'

That way, whenever anyone walked by the tombstone and read it, they would be certain to remark, 'That is Strange.'
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How much do you want it to be?

A university committee was selecting a new dean. They had narrowed the candidates down to a mathematician, an economist and a lawyer.

Each was asked this question during their interview: 'How much is two plus two?'

The mathematician answered immediately, 'Four.'

The economist thought for several minutes and finally answered, 'Four, plus or minus one.'

Finally the lawyer stood up, peered around the room and motioned silently for the committee members to gather close to him. In a hushed, conspiratorial tone, he replied, 'How much do you want it to be?'
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I am coming daily

A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell.

Santa does not turn up for 4 days. Lady calls again.

Santa replies, 'I am coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out.'
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Sardar and hidden camera

Jasmeet caught her husband Santa Singh searching high and low all around his living room.

Jasmeet: 'What are you searching for?'

Santa: 'Hidden camera!'

Jasmeet: 'And what makes you think that there are hidden camera here?'

Santa: 'That guy on tv knows exactly what I am doing. Why every few minutes he keeps saying, You are watching the Star World channel. How does he know that?'
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I know you

A lawyer approached to an elderly grandmother and asked, 'Mrs.. Jones, do you know me?'
She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I have known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you are a big disappointment to me.

You lie, cheat on your wife, manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you are a big shot when you have not the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher.'

The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs.. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'

She again replied, 'Why, yes, I do. I have known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster. He is lazy and has a drinking problem. He can not build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife.'

The defense attorney almost died.

The judge asked both lawyers to approach the bench and in a quiet voice said:

'If either of you rascals asks her if she knows me, I will send you to 20 years of prison.'
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